Reaping a hundred fold

So as all of you (the ten people who actually read my blog) know, I did it! I just got married. The process of planning was some fun, but mostly stressful and frustrating for me. However, God did not fail to amaze me. Time and time again from the beginning of our engagement to our wedding day itself, I can't tell you how many times I looked at things and thought, "How are we ever going to do this?" Whenever I needed provision, our beautiful father always came through......through you!!!!! From setup to showers to painting pots to preparing food to taking pictures, in abundance there were friends and family ready and more than willing to tackle the task. To all of you, I am still in awe and completely humbled by your servant's hearts and the loved you have shown us. We know who each one of you are and are so very thankful to have you in our lives. You have taught us so much and add so much joy to our lives. Thank you.
Now, one more thank you and shout out is necessary to my bestie. I love you whorts! I think nine or ten is the number of times I have cried thinking about you, watching a video you made for us, reading a card you have sent, and just plain seeing you on our big day. My heart felt so bittersweet that you weren't able to be here in person for all of this, but I feel honored that you can offer that as a sweet offering to father for what you are willing to do to follow him and see him glorified. I was so excited to get your letters because it felt like part of you was coming home. Thank you so much for your creativity and all your sentimental-ness, I really loved it. And thank you skype for making it possible to my friend to see, at least some of it all! So now, I will dry my eyes and eagerly wait for our next skype date, whorts. Love you and love all of you!

Flowers and Diamonds.....two things a girl will never turn down

Eleven days and counting until the big day. The amount of money needed at a spa to relieve all the stress that comes with planning a big event, dealing with family drama, moving, and entering into a lifelong committed relationship.....$3 million dollars sounds good to me. :) My dad making 130 flowers so I don't have to and hearing him say, "don't worry I'll take care of it" when I am at my wits end; my mom giving me real a real diamond necklace and earrings for a wedding gift that I can pass down to my kids someday because it's what I've always dreamed of for my wedding...priceless. Although trying at times, because hey, parents are people too and are still trying to figure out life and we are and forever will be their kids (and still sometimes act like it), they are marvelous and I can't imagine doing without mine. So, if you haven't told your parents you love them and appreciate them, do it!

Butter, softened, cream cheese, softened, heart, softened

I have had the pleasure of having my mom stay with me last week at my house and of having spent the last few days at my parents homes. I know it is so easy to keep our parents in their parent box, but these past several days, I've played observer and made several mental notes. The outcome? Being so humbled and undeserving of how wonderfully loving and serving my parents are to me and their loved ones. I haven't ceased to be amazed in numerous ways of how my parents have mentally, physically, relationally and financially poured themselves out. Why do I not always realize this? Even more so, why am I not always as truly thankful as I should be? Why am I not more like them?
In just under three weeks I will be committing myself to my dear love in a lifelong relationship. Sounds scary and overwhelming to me. Why? I know my flesh. How can I possibly be who and what a godly wife should be? How can I live up to what is to be expected of me? How can I have the heart to respond to him as I should when his flesh comes out?

I feel like I have a Moses complex. I have been reading Exodus and have seen three things repeated. The first, Moses always doubts himself and God because he seems, like the rest of us, to think in terms of human ability, not God's ability. When seeing his shortcomings and imperfections, he loses perspective and sees the flesh as being a serious obstacle for the Lord to overcome. God's solution: He brings along someone with the strengths where Moses has weakness and pairs them together and He works through them. The second, Pharaoh's heart continues to be hardened, especially when time has elapsed between his encounter with God's power and truth. Can I get an Amen of understanding from anybody else? Today my attitude was horrible at first. My last time with God in his word: three days ago. It is amazing how much I overestimate myself by even thinking I could go three days without sweet communion with God, all the while the world is steadily hounding me and trying to creep into life. The third: God is always there and always does what he says he will do. Nothing stands in God's way, not even an all powerful king and the people in charge.

What does all this mean for me? God can and will do it. I wasn't made to do things apart from him on my own, but in and through relationship with him. It's not about what I can do, but letting him do it, and keeping my heart softened and ready for use.