It is actually now May 5th. I am lying on my couch at 2 a.m., sick and sleepless. Not exactly my favorite combination, but it could be a lot worse. The school year is winding to a close and I have stopped and pondered about how 10 months with my kiddos this year is almost over. It didn't feel like it was flying, but it did. I always have heard adults say times always flies by, but when I was younger it never felt that way. Now I understand. I have so much I want to get done, so much I should get done, but not enough time to fit it all in. I feel like God has challenged me this spring with being on the look out for and taking every opportunity he presents me with to love others, share with them and learn from them. Not a small task I have discovered. I feel so small much of the time and wonder how I, Brandi, with all my flaws and flesh can possibly really make much of a difference for God's kingdom. Then he is faithful and reminds me. I don't know everything (even though I sometimes think/act like I do) and I can't always see the work within the heart. I have two pots with two different kinds of seed on my windowsill in my kitchen. They are in the same kind of dirt, the same sunlight, been given the same fertilizer and same water, yet after 3 or 4 days one pot had sprouted while the other hadn't. I kept watering them, left them both in the sun and after a few more days, the sprouts in the one pot were really taking off, but nothing of the other. I finally started to try to think about if I could actually remember putting seeds in the pot or if I had just thought I had. So I looked at the seed packet and it was opened so there were seeds in there. I stopped questioning my sanity and decided to look at the info for the two kinds of seed. One was to sprout within 4 or 5 days while the other was to take 8 days to two weeks. Even though I had been faithful in giving them both what they needed, one just wasn't ready yet. I now have two pots with sprouts, some much taller than the other, but nevertheless there is growth in both. I feel like this fits so much with God's work. Even though they may be in the same conditions, no two hearts are exactly the same or have had the exact same experience. We know what we are doing for people, but we don't always know what God is doing or at what pace he is doing it below the surface. If I had stopped taking care of the seeds that hadn't sprouted, they never would have sprouted.
So when the task at hand feels big, ll I need to do is love him and faithfully follow Jesus. That is all he asks me for and all he expects from me. When I do that, what does God do in his good timing? He let's a little miracle sprout.
Praise Him. Even though his ways may seem trying to me sometimes, they are actually refining and good for me. Praise him for his love and goodness to us. Praise him that he, unfathomably, loves us. Praise him, that even though we take more from him, he doesn't deny us or give up on us. Praise him for he is generous.
