Reaping a hundred fold

So as all of you (the ten people who actually read my blog) know, I did it! I just got married. The process of planning was some fun, but mostly stressful and frustrating for me. However, God did not fail to amaze me. Time and time again from the beginning of our engagement to our wedding day itself, I can't tell you how many times I looked at things and thought, "How are we ever going to do this?" Whenever I needed provision, our beautiful father always came through......through you!!!!! From setup to showers to painting pots to preparing food to taking pictures, in abundance there were friends and family ready and more than willing to tackle the task. To all of you, I am still in awe and completely humbled by your servant's hearts and the loved you have shown us. We know who each one of you are and are so very thankful to have you in our lives. You have taught us so much and add so much joy to our lives. Thank you.
Now, one more thank you and shout out is necessary to my bestie. I love you whorts! I think nine or ten is the number of times I have cried thinking about you, watching a video you made for us, reading a card you have sent, and just plain seeing you on our big day. My heart felt so bittersweet that you weren't able to be here in person for all of this, but I feel honored that you can offer that as a sweet offering to father for what you are willing to do to follow him and see him glorified. I was so excited to get your letters because it felt like part of you was coming home. Thank you so much for your creativity and all your sentimental-ness, I really loved it. And thank you skype for making it possible to my friend to see, at least some of it all! So now, I will dry my eyes and eagerly wait for our next skype date, whorts. Love you and love all of you!

Flowers and Diamonds.....two things a girl will never turn down

Eleven days and counting until the big day. The amount of money needed at a spa to relieve all the stress that comes with planning a big event, dealing with family drama, moving, and entering into a lifelong committed relationship.....$3 million dollars sounds good to me. :) My dad making 130 flowers so I don't have to and hearing him say, "don't worry I'll take care of it" when I am at my wits end; my mom giving me real a real diamond necklace and earrings for a wedding gift that I can pass down to my kids someday because it's what I've always dreamed of for my wedding...priceless. Although trying at times, because hey, parents are people too and are still trying to figure out life and we are and forever will be their kids (and still sometimes act like it), they are marvelous and I can't imagine doing without mine. So, if you haven't told your parents you love them and appreciate them, do it!

Butter, softened, cream cheese, softened, heart, softened

I have had the pleasure of having my mom stay with me last week at my house and of having spent the last few days at my parents homes. I know it is so easy to keep our parents in their parent box, but these past several days, I've played observer and made several mental notes. The outcome? Being so humbled and undeserving of how wonderfully loving and serving my parents are to me and their loved ones. I haven't ceased to be amazed in numerous ways of how my parents have mentally, physically, relationally and financially poured themselves out. Why do I not always realize this? Even more so, why am I not always as truly thankful as I should be? Why am I not more like them?
In just under three weeks I will be committing myself to my dear love in a lifelong relationship. Sounds scary and overwhelming to me. Why? I know my flesh. How can I possibly be who and what a godly wife should be? How can I live up to what is to be expected of me? How can I have the heart to respond to him as I should when his flesh comes out?

I feel like I have a Moses complex. I have been reading Exodus and have seen three things repeated. The first, Moses always doubts himself and God because he seems, like the rest of us, to think in terms of human ability, not God's ability. When seeing his shortcomings and imperfections, he loses perspective and sees the flesh as being a serious obstacle for the Lord to overcome. God's solution: He brings along someone with the strengths where Moses has weakness and pairs them together and He works through them. The second, Pharaoh's heart continues to be hardened, especially when time has elapsed between his encounter with God's power and truth. Can I get an Amen of understanding from anybody else? Today my attitude was horrible at first. My last time with God in his word: three days ago. It is amazing how much I overestimate myself by even thinking I could go three days without sweet communion with God, all the while the world is steadily hounding me and trying to creep into life. The third: God is always there and always does what he says he will do. Nothing stands in God's way, not even an all powerful king and the people in charge.

What does all this mean for me? God can and will do it. I wasn't made to do things apart from him on my own, but in and through relationship with him. It's not about what I can do, but letting him do it, and keeping my heart softened and ready for use.

Eating for two...hundred

If there is one word that describes my activities and shopping, it would be bulk. And I don't mean fun bulk, like I bought ten cute purses. I mean bulk as in 300 styrofoam plates, 600 napkins, 200 forks, 40 flower pots that each had to be painted (thanks Lisa and Ev!), 40 records that will be painted, 200 pieces of scrapbook paper and the list will go on. Other than the fact that I did find an adorable wallet today, the only thing that I have one of today that I wish I had more of is an eggplant growing on my plant. Yum! I can't for it to be ready.

The fuss about fresh

So lately I've been a little addicted to two food shows, Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares. When I'm at home with my parents l really enjoy watching food network and seeing what they are making, learning about new foods and so on. Well last night I just happened to be watching Kitchen Nightmares and they starting mentioning pesto. I have to admit I have never tried pesto in my life, partially because I love tomatoes and therefore I love marinara, but also I was a little skeptical about pesto basically because it is a green sauce. Let's face it, the only other green sauces I have seen are green chile salsa which is very good and the gravy my elementary school cooks would dye green for certain holidays, and we all know that was not good. Have the people who think kids will eat want to eat already questionable food dyed a certain color ever cooked for kids. So left with that, I wasn't sure about pesto, but last night I decided to try it. I scouted a couple recipes online and just looked at the list of basic ingredients: basil leaves, garlic, a kind of nut, olive oil, salt, pepper. That's it! So I took this new found knowledge and made my own recipe. I had planted basil this spring and kept it on my kitchen window ledge (which I love and I believe all kitchens should have one!) and it was loaded with leaves waiting for me to use. I didn't have walnuts, so I decided to substitute it with some sliced almonds which are better for you anyways. After five minutes chopping, five or ten minutes frying and a sprinkle of italian cheese blend on the top, Evan and I had fresh homemade pesto. The verdict: It was delicious! It was so light, super easy, quick and so fresh because all my ingredients were fresh. So, if you feel ready for a challenge today, try to make your own pesto. Don't have fresh basil, maybe you can try spinach. Ready for an even bigger challenge: start your own garden. You can do a little inside herb garden or plant a couple tomato plants in bigger pots on your porch like I did. Or, if you are fortunate enough to have yard space go for the gold. It doesn't have to be huge, but I guarantee you will love the outcome when all you have to do is go out and pick the produce you want. It's practically free and it's fresh. For anyone who has never tasted the goodness of a homegrown tomato, catch up with me or go to your farmer's market. You don't know what you are missing out on. Good luck!

Just give me a minivan and tapered leg jeans

This past week I had the awesome joy of having my two nieces, Jenna, 12 and Jordan, 6, all to myself for 6 days! A soon to be first grader and a preteen with no cable, no amusement parks, and no fast food, I thought it was going to be quite the feat. There wasn't a moment of down time.....at least not for me. So what did we do? We started everyday off with VBS which was so great, because my littlest got to hear the good news and received her own good book and my oldest got to hear the good news, help out, and get out of her comfort zone. I don't know very many preteens who are excited about choreographed kids songs. Everyday there was home-cooked lunch and dinner and activities in the afternoon. I haven't been so worn-out in a long time, but it was so fun. We did everything from swimming, bowling, sno-cones, going to the zoo, to having a taste at our local chocolate shop. And of course they made sure to squeeze in some time for guitar hero. :) My littlest being only 6 but very independent, want to play the notes for herself and me to strum. I didn't think she could do, but she did! Who knew. Being from Houston, my nieces were very confused as to why they saw the same cars driving by the sno-cone place on our main street one night. Thus I informed them of cruising and even took them to do some of their own. It was so funny to watch them make their cruising faces, especially with Jordan in her booster seat. My little ladies were so sweet and only had a couple times each day where I needed to smooth some roughened edges and give someone a talk. Maybe my parents won't have to wait five years for grandkids from me.......we'll see.

The sower and the grower

It is actually now May 5th. I am lying on my couch at 2 a.m., sick and sleepless. Not exactly my favorite combination, but it could be a lot worse. The school year is winding to a close and I have stopped and pondered about how 10 months with my kiddos this year is almost over. It didn't feel like it was flying, but it did. I always have heard adults say times always flies by, but when I was younger it never felt that way. Now I understand. I have so much I want to get done, so much I should get done, but not enough time to fit it all in. I feel like God has challenged me this spring with being on the look out for and taking every opportunity he presents me with to love others, share with them and learn from them. Not a small task I have discovered. I feel so small much of the time and wonder how I, Brandi, with all my flaws and flesh can possibly really make much of a difference for God's kingdom. Then he is faithful and reminds me. I don't know everything (even though I sometimes think/act like I do) and I can't always see the work within the heart. I have two pots with two different kinds of seed on my windowsill in my kitchen. They are in the same kind of dirt, the same sunlight, been given the same fertilizer and same water, yet after 3 or 4 days one pot had sprouted while the other hadn't. I kept watering them, left them both in the sun and after a few more days, the sprouts in the one pot were really taking off, but nothing of the other. I finally started to try to think about if I could actually remember putting seeds in the pot or if I had just thought I had. So I looked at the seed packet and it was opened so there were seeds in there. I stopped questioning my sanity and decided to look at the info for the two kinds of seed. One was to sprout within 4 or 5 days while the other was to take 8 days to two weeks. Even though I had been faithful in giving them both what they needed, one just wasn't ready yet. I now have two pots with sprouts, some much taller than the other, but nevertheless there is growth in both. I feel like this fits so much with God's work. Even though they may be in the same conditions, no two hearts are exactly the same or have had the exact same experience. We know what we are doing for people, but we don't always know what God is doing or at what pace he is doing it below the surface. If I had stopped taking care of the seeds that hadn't sprouted, they never would have sprouted.
So when the task at hand feels big, ll I need to do is love him and faithfully follow Jesus. That is all he asks me for and all he expects from me. When I do that, what does God do in his good timing? He let's a little miracle sprout.
Praise Him. Even though his ways may seem trying to me sometimes, they are actually refining and good for me. Praise him for his love and goodness to us. Praise him that he, unfathomably, loves us. Praise him, that even though we take more from him, he doesn't deny us or give up on us. Praise him for he is generous.